Got a question for those in the military.

Kekamba

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Im tryin not to sweat this but it keeps popping into my head. My son's mother got fired from her job today. When she picked him up tonight she told me that if she cant find a job in the next week or so. She's going to look into joining the National Guard or the Marines. It was something she talked about when we first dated but then she got pregnant. Ive said something about this to a few family members and my girlfriend and they said if she inlists then she'd have to give me custody of my son. If this is true that alone might change her mind, but I was just wondering if anyone who is serving. Knows if they will allow single moms to bring their kids with them. I know the court might get involved. But it just seems to me there is chance she could take him if she can get some form of child care. But then if she was sent over seas it seems then he'd come to me. And all of this might be for not as she has a history of panic attacks and that to me seems like something that could keep her out. But then again my brother-in-law is on a sub based in Norfolk Va and he has a history of heart problems and recently had a mild stroke coming off the sub this past winter. And he's back to full active duty. Then again I had another friend who got discharged from the Army because of a anxiety attack. And I tried to join after 9-11 but no branch would take me because of a tattoo on the back of my head and I tried off and on for almost 5 years especially after I saw my brother-in-law get in the Navy. Just looking for a little information.

Thanks
-J.
 

Konel07

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she would not be able to bring a child with her. no military service would allow that.. not during bootcamp, never on a deployment, possibly later when she is assigned to a base and is not moving around on missions.
you would more then likely have to assume full custody.
 
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oldmarine0311

Guest
Correct, she will have to relinquish her child to another family member, she cannot have him during her enlistment. So yea tell her that fact if she doesn’t believe you have her go ask a recruiter. But she can join if she doesn’t have any kids. That doesn’t mean she can’t give her custody rights to someone else though too. Her mom for example.
Medical issues in the service are different and varied as is anything. After all the injuries I had in the Marine Corps I was still retreaded and sent back to service, if I chose to. And OMG I did. So don’t judge to know if you’re not in the know, get my meaning?
As for your tat on the hand, well that will keep you out of service because it’s visible, and if you were in and got such a tattoo then you could be discharged for it, for a variety of reasons, mostly because it’s a visible tattoo.
Hope that sheds some light for you.
 

Kekamba

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That doesn’t mean she can’t give her custody rights to someone else though too. Her mom for example.
QUOTE]

So where I have custody rights you'd think the courts would send him to me. I know I could be wrong just wondering and didnt want to start asking alot of locals in this small town rumors fly like wildfire.

As far as the medical issues, and my desire to join. Im over it now, I'll be 33 in August and have high blood presure. Its more one of those things Id do if I had it to do all over again. But as well all know you cant go back in time. The main reason that changed my mind in the first place was I had a friend who was like a brother in Iraq. And this was the first time in our lives that we didnt have each other back. And I had alot of trouble with that for a long time. We went almost 5 years not talking and I heard all kind of nasty rumors before finding his mom and then him on facebook of all places. He transfered to WY to stop getting sent to Iraq, he's done 12 tours over there. And we both have 4 year old kids. He wanted to raise his daughter and that was the #1 reason for his transfer to WY. Im also tryin to get him back into the hobby so someday you guys might see him here on the bench.

Thanks guys
-J.
 

dankir96

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I'm a current member of the Delaware Army National Guard (16 years). I love the military and I am forever grateful for what they've given me over the years.

If she were to join the National Guard, she would have to have a Family Care Plan as a single parent. This does NOT mean she will not have custody of your son. She would definitely not be able to take him to Basic Training or on a deployment. How old is she?
 

Kekamba

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She's 24-25 I think.

I guess I should add she asked me what I thought. At the time I didnt say much, but I think Im going to tell her if I was her. Id look at the Guard at first. Because if she joins the Marines and gets based in another state, anytime she might get deployed she'd have to send him back(at least untill she gets married) and that could be rough on him if that was to happen. Especialy if she gets deployed 12 times like my friend has. With the Guard she wouldnt run as high risk of pulling him not just from me but his entire family and have more options if she does get deployed. We decided to register him into school in the town I live(free preschool!). So it just seems if she thinks about everything it should be ok.
 
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oldmarine0311

Guest
not to knock the guard whatsoever, you have to remember this, unless things chnage, evenif they are on active duity and get injured alot of times the VA will not lift a finger to help them, as the VA is for active duity service men and they dont see the guard as active duity service. true this needs to change but if she were to join, then go all out. but then she has a kid shes supposed to responsible for. ahh but anyway good luck and enjoy the kido while hes young too.
 
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