I had my first experience of not being able to get a refund from a purchase of cards I made from Stevenmelcollectibles in Lindenhurst, NY for $48. He requested a personal paypal payment which saved him fees, but also unbeknownst to me didn't protect my purchase. He mailed the cards but the tracking has them leaving Melville, NY three weeks ago and I haven't gotten them. His emails have been strangely combative, even to the degree of insinuating that I might actually have the cards since I'm in a 'rush' to get a refund because hey, mail can be a month or two late, right?...so an expensive lesson for me trying to be a nice guy and save a seller some money. No more personal paypal payments from me...and certainly no more purchases from Steve.
This is a tough situation, especially since you tried to be nice and considerate of him by sending the personal payment. In his defense (not much of a defense but...) Melville is not far from Lindenhurst (I did my undergrad work at Stony Brook, in eastern Long Island). Who knows, perhaps the items will turn up and you'll have a happy ending? I really hope so.