The mystery of the Body Bagged SASE...

HockeyBrawler

Rookie
23
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*Cue minor-key piano and sax film noir music*

JUNE 22
Today after work I checked the mailbox only to discover I received a bunch of junk mail, along with a USPS body bag. It carried an empty, unsealed SASE with "Received Open" stamped on it in red, and a San Bernardino, CA postmark on the back. Strange place. The stamp was not canceled at least. San Bernardino is in the LA area, so based on my mailings from the past three months, this would likely be Dennis Smith, Bill Withers, Mike Horan, or, Jared Goff...

JUNE 23
Ed "Too Tall" Jones, c/o home, 3/3, 1 week
Harry Newsome, c/o home, 3/3, 1 week
The mystery continues...

JUNE 24
Dennis Smith, c/o home, 6/6, 1 week. Looks like we can check one off of our list.

JUNE 25
No mail. Not even junk mail. What's my postman trying to hide from me?

JUNE 26
No mail again. Two days in a row. I put on my fedora and trench coat, lit a smoke, and went to the Post Office to give the postmaster a piece of my mind... only to realize June 26, 2016 was a Sunday, so of course there was no mail delivery.

JUNE 27
Rich Camarillo, c/o home, 5/5, 2 weeks
Andy Van Hellemond, c/o home, 4/3, 3 weeks, added personalized signed postcard
Tim Hunter, c/o Moose Jaw Warriors, 4/4, 1 month
Jared Goff, c/o LA Rams, 3/3, 1 month. The big one can be checked off the list.

So, the unsealed SASE mystery continues, but the field has now been narrowed to two. My assumptions are that it was Mike Horan, based on the timing and location. But we'll keep an eye out, because you never know what may be lurking in the shadows of one's mailbox...

*end film noir music*
 

KCLJ520

Veteran
189
5.00 star(s)
FABULOUS film noir references!!!! I LOVE the classic Humphrey Bogart movies, Casablanca and the Maltese Falcon specifically, and it was fun to read your post!

God Bless,

Kevin
 
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