Card collecting Ethics?... or me just being me?

[bonzomoretti]

A question for anyone that would like to add some input to my conundrum. Please, use your own thread to express your own experiences. I would just like constructive criticism to my dilemma. Here goes:

I belong to a group of traders that have become like "family" to me. It was the first group of traders I joined 6 years ago. We have become very friendly and treat each other very fairly to the point where we can send cards to each other and not worry about getting cards in return right now. We would go to shows and try to help each others wantlists when possible. Anyway, hopefully you get an idea for what it's like trading within this group.
Now one trader puts out the word that he has a box of cards for trade (the actual cards for trade don't really matter here so I will keep it simple). He says he wants X or Y cards for his box A. I offer Y for the box. Heck, here is the thread edited:

HIM- I have box A (edited). I am looking to trade this for a complete 2014 topps football base set or a 2015 topps baseball series one base set. no inserts or extras required, but you provide postage each way.
any interest?

ME-
I have a 2015 series 1 set FT for the box A. LMK

HIM-
Thanks Mike
To be fair, let me collect a few days of responses. I will get back to you.


HOW WOULD YOU RESPOND TO THIS. I HAVE BEEN TRADING WITH THIS GUY FOR 6 YEARS AND WAS REALLY PUT-OFF BY HIS RESPONSE. I offered exactly what he wanted for his box A.

Am I right...Am I wrong? Your "constructive" responses please. How should I respond? LMK if I am making too much of this.
Maybe this will turn into a fun thread of responses. Maybe you don't take it like I did? Again, please don't clutter this thread with YOUR experiences, would like YOUR feedback only to this situation. Thanks, Mike

 

[mrmopar]

Seems like you offered exactly what he was looking for. I would probably think the same thing you are, especially if we had been long time trade partners. However, with a slight few exceptions, pretty much everyone is out for themselves for the most part and it almost always comes down to the deal before the relationship. I have been faced with similar scenarios that left me wondering as well...

Is he hoping someone will offer him both sets for his item(s)? Perhaps. Is what he is offering worth both sets by chance? if so, maybe he should have said he wanted both sets for his item(s).

 

[criollos]

Mike:

I would also be put off by his response. I would take my trade offer off the table and would stay away from trading with him again. There are too any good traders out there to be wasting time on people that don't follow up on what they post.


Luis

 

[T-206]

I would be a little upset too.
But then step back and think maybe he is testing the waters to see just what other offers come along if any and he maybe asking to little or too much. Sit back relax and see where it takes both of you

If you were in his shoes would you do the same thing? probable yes, possible no.

Or could he be thinking this may not be what I actually want for this item and posted hastily. I would not let this little thing get in a way of friendship until he gives you a response but testing the waters we all do from time to time.

 

[Camsue]

I would also be a little upset like you stated you guys were like family and he should have just done the trade as he had posted finding a close group like that is hard to find I would just see were it goes from here

 

[rotorob]

Mike -
It is a very odd response to an offer of exactly what was requested. I would be taken aback by it as well. I can only fathom 2 possible reasons for the response.

1. He really wants the FB set more than the BB one and is waiting to see if someone offers it.
2. He is trying to drum up responses from some less active members.

Even so, stating either of the above to someone I've traded with for years would seem to be preferable to the response given.

Not sure what I would do from here. Probably something close to what Luis stated above and cross off the trader list, at least for a while.

Just my $0.02.

 

[bonzomoretti]

Wow, we have a very insightful group here. A little disappointed no one called me out on this.

Seems like you offered exactly what he was looking for. I would probably think the same thing you are, especially if we had been long time trade partners. However, with a slight few exceptions, pretty much everyone is out for themselves for the most part and it almost always comes down to the deal before the relationship. I have been faced with similar scenarios that left me wondering as well...

Is he hoping someone will offer him both sets for his item(s)? Perhaps. Is what he is offering worth both sets by chance? if so, maybe he should have said he wanted both sets for his item(s).

Very good call. I emailed him about this and he said exactly that. He was hoping someone would offer him both sets for his box... or more. Of course I responded that he should have come right out and asked or posted "best offer" as I would nhave understood. The fact that he responded that he wanted to wait on my offer made me feel like he didn't prefer trading with me.

Mike:

I would also be put off by his response. I would take my trade offer off the table and would stay away from trading with him again. There are too any good traders out there to be wasting time on people that don't follow up on what they post.


Luis

Luis, if this was someone that I didn't know (trust) I would agree. The fact that he is a long standing member of this group, it is a touchy situation. I have to be careful who's feathers I rustle as I have no tenure in this group.

I would be a little upset too.
But then step back and think maybe he is testing the waters to see just what other offers come along if any and he maybe asking to little or too much. Sit back relax and see where it takes both of you

If you were in his shoes would you do the same thing? probable yes, possible no.

Or could he be thinking this may not be what I actually want for this item and posted hastily. I would not let this little thing get in a way of friendship until he gives you a response but testing the waters we all do from time to time.

Bingo Wayne! He has actually had others tell him that he was asking too little for his box. I disagreed and provided proof that the BV plus out of pocket cash was actually slightly in his favor. Doesn't really matter as I was upset from him telling me to wait after offering him exactly what he asked for when he actually preferred the football set first and was hoping to get both for his box. I, more or less, said why didn't you say that in your original post instead of making me feel that you preferred not trading with me.

I would also be a little upset like you stated you guys were like family and he should have just done the trade as he had posted finding a close group like that is hard to find I would just see were it goes from here

No holding pattern for me. Just the way I am. Thanks

Mike -
It is a very odd response to an offer of exactly what was requested. I would be taken aback by it as well. I can only fathom 2 possible reasons for the response.

1. He really wants the FB set more than the BB one and is waiting to see if someone offers it.
2. He is trying to drum up responses from some less active members.

Even so, stating either of the above to someone I've traded with for years would seem to be preferable to the response given.

Not sure what I would do from here. Probably something close to what Luis stated above and cross off the trader list, at least for a while.

Just my $0.02.

Thanks Robert. You nailed it with number 1.

All great responses. We have exchanged several emails and have not gotten anywhere yet. Keep the responses coming. I'll update as it progresses... or digresses. Hopefully not.

 

[Beachbum]

Mike- I don't see anything drastically wrong, I could defend both positions honestly. If it were me, this would fall under the category of "annoying" and I would liken it to the traders that ask you to find your material and their material in a trade (they don't do anything but say check my list). Are they bad or wrong? No, just annoying and too much trouble sometimes.

I see going thru with the trade or dumping it as almost a 50/50 situation and I wouldn't not trade with him again, but if he kept doing annoying stuff, I would remember this situation.

 

[bluewatertrader]

My thought is was he expecting someone to offer him both the baseball and football sets for the said box ?

 

[anglinomics]

I wouldn't be too happy about his response. But if I wanted what he was trading more than what I was giving, I would go through with the deal. As long as I have faith in him that I would get an item and the condition is acceptable, I wouldn't let it affect my future relationship. Some people are difficult to negotiate with, but may be very reliable otherwise.

 

[bonzomoretti]

Mike- I don't see anything drastically wrong, I could defend both positions honestly. If it were me, this would fall under the category of "annoying" and I would liken it to the traders that ask you to find your material and their material in a trade (they don't do anything but say check my list). Are they bad or wrong? No, just annoying and too much trouble sometimes.

I see going thru with the trade or dumping it as almost a 50/50 situation and I wouldn't not trade with him again, but if he kept doing annoying stuff, I would remember this situation.

My thought is was he expecting someone to offer him both the baseball and football sets for the said box ?

I don't view it as "drastic" and yes, he was holding out for both sets. I just don't understand why he didn't say that in his original post. "Football set or Baseball set OR Best Offer for box A" would have been fine. He didn't say that in his original post. I offered what he wanted and he said "I'll wait a few days to field other offers". I could have offered more stuff from his wantlist but that is not what he asked for. Like I said, it is not drastic and I am not upset if we don't make the trade, it's just that it sounded like he didn't want my trade when I offered exactly what he asked for.
For instance, If I say I have a 1968 Tom Seaver that I am looking to trade for a 1968 Topps Willie Mays OR 1968 Rod Carew (all bv around $50)" and you, someone I've traded with often, offer the Mays for the Seaver and I say I am waiting on other offers, how would you feel? Maybe it is just me and I took it too personally. Thanks Guys.

 

[bonzomoretti]

I wouldn't be too happy about his response. But if I wanted what he was trading more than what I was giving, I would go through with the deal. As long as I have faith in him that I would get an item and the condition is acceptable, I wouldn't let it affect my future relationship. Some people are difficult to negotiate with, but may be very reliable otherwise.

I've traded with him many times and yes, he's reliable. It's not so much that he has something I can really use, it is mostly that I am unloading something I can not use at all. Thanks for responding.

 

[bombie1138]

Rule #1,..
you can always say no,..
seconds thoughts always seem to be a factor with some traders,.no control but there my be a next time,..

 

[t.rooster]

Mike~
I validate what you are feeling....

 

[David K.]

Maybe he wants to trade with someone new....or it could be like he stated...wants wait for all of the offers before...he decides what to do. Best regards, David